As a parent, administrator, and teacher, I have witnessed firsthand how often educators fail to truly appreciate a parent’s perspective on their child’s behavior. Too often, we unintentionally communicate a lack of trust in parents — and I felt this most deeply when I found myself on the other side of the table as a parent.

I was once told by a school psychologist that I “did not understand my child.” How does a statement like that build trust or partnership? My son was struggling due to challenges related to being internationally adopted. When I asked if the psychologist had any experience with international adoption, the answer was no. When I asked if she had experience with night terrors — something my son was experiencing — the answer was again no. Yet I was made to feel as if my understanding of my own child was somehow less valid. This experience reflects a troubling pattern: educators often make assumptions that are simply not accurate.

A similar situation occurred when my younger child, who has a birth defect affecting his ability to use the bathroom, began a new school. I informed the school and his teacher before the first day that when he needs to go, he cannot wait. The school assured me they would place him in a classroom near a bathroom, and I even provided a letter from our pediatrician. Everyone told me we were “on the same page.”
Yet on the first day of school, I received a call from the guidance counselor and teacher saying he had left class to go to the bathroom — and that it was unsafe. When I reminded them of our prior conversations, they offered no acknowledgment. Instead, the assumption was that he was exaggerating or faking his condition.

Why are we not listening to parents when they tell us about their children?

At Luminova Academy, we believe that families are not obstacles — they are partners. When educators and parents stand on opposite sides, the child suffers. When we work together, the child thrives.

Simple Ways to Build Stronger Family Partnerships

Here are practical strategies we use — and encourage all schools to adopt — to strengthen relationships with families:

• Send a “Get to Know Families” survey to understand each child’s home context, needs, and strengths.
• Schedule intentional conversations with every family — for both teachers and administrators.
• Share regular communication through weekly or monthly classroom and school newsletters.
• Send personal positive messages celebrating students’ growth and accomplishments.
• Make positive phone calls to families at least once a week — not only when problems arise.

Education works best when built on trust, respect, and collaboration. At Luminova Academy, parent partnership is not an add-on — it is part of the foundation of how we educate children.

Because when adults work together, children succeed.